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Happenings Where is Naught

News and big events. It's happening boys
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shitpost here

Volari

varishangout.com
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As my hands clenched tighter around the assistance handles in the disabled toilets I found myself in I could feel and hear the walls cracking. The strenuous unclenching and forceful pushing made no distraction to the burning of a thousand supernova I felt around the delicate ring to my dark chasm.

As the bricks of the toilet block began to shatter around myself like glass ware falling from the table I managed to send myself deaf with the amount of herculean yelling I was bellowing from my lungs. Slowly I could feel the rosebud in between my rosy cheeks begin to part like that of the red sea in the story of Moses.

Solid and slow I could feel the end result of a week of accumulation of black mass scraping its way down my long tube of meat innards. Its relative size being that of a baseball forced my red ring to stretch to a size thought impossible to my naive virgin faecal cave.

Suddenly and without warning I felt a rush of liquid greater than that of Niagara falls rush faster than the Mississippi down the waste pipes of my insides towards the concrete nugget. A sound even louder than my strongman yawp began to rumble around my soft mid section.

The pressurization within me could last no longer. My brown eye having been fully stretched to ludicrous limits finally gave way with a tear. The black mass propelled by an apocalyptically large amount of brown liquid that followed crashed into the porcelain throne I was perched upon.

Having been made in the most remote factories of mainland China this Ming Flushy boi could not withstand the force of a weeks worth compacted gut rot. Having anticipated this worst case scenario I managed to move myself into a squat and hang on for dear life as the white seat of relief shattered around me.

Having expelled enough liquid to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool along with a sphere of bowel product large enough to choke a Clydesdale I resorted to attempting the impossible of cleaning a shit that can't wipe. I grabbed what sheets I could from this back end of town Lavatory building could offer.

Still hovering of the razor sharp shards below I began to wipe the deflated mud patch that resided between my now whip lashed posterior. To my surprise I found not a horrific sight of both expulsion and my own flesh but a completely dry chocolate star fish.
 
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