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Happenings Where is Naught

News and big events. It's happening boys
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Sonic woke up and looked at the clock. "7:00," it said, and Sonic screamed.

"I am late for school! I have to get to school now!" said Sonic, jumping out of bed. Sonic put his clothes on really fast and ran out of his room because he is fast. "No time for breakfast!" said Sonic as he ran past Sonic's Mom.

"You will regret this," said Sonic's Mom, leering at him from the kitchen stove, wearing aprons and oven mitts on her hands. Sonic did not care. He was late! Sonic ran outside and ran to the bus stop where people were getting on the bus.

"Tails! Knuckles! Wait for me!" said Sonic as he ran towards the bus.

"Hey Knuckles, its' Sonic," said Tails to Knuckles at the bus stop.

"He is late!" said Knuckles to Tails before getting on the bus. Sonic ran so fast to the bus and he got on the bus after Tails.

"Just in time," said Sonic, huffing and puffing like he was doing the Cupid Shuffle for the first time. Sonic sat down next to Tails, and Knuckles sat behind them, taking up both seats.

"I'm so bad," said Knuckles, laughing because he sat where two people could sit. Knuckles did this every day and no one bothered him, but they all knew it was against the rules of both man and God. The bus started and drove at the school and parked and they got out.

"We're at school now," said Tails. "It is time to go to class." Sonic was also at school, so he went to his first class of the day, English class. Sonic did not like English very much, but he did not like any class very much that was not about running and going fast, which is what Sonic does best. Sonic got to his class and sat down in his seat.

"It is journal day," said Sonic's English teacher, Mrs. Lesson. Mrs. Lesson was tall and white and had gray hair and she was not pretty. "Take out your journals and put them in a pile and I will read one of your entries to the class." Sonic took out his blue journal and ran to the front quickly and put his journal on her desk and ran back to his desk, all with his head down and not talking or looking at anyone. Sonic was so fast that he did it first. Everyone else did it afterwards and slower.

Mrs. Lesson grabbed a journal from the pile and Sonic knew it was his because it looked just like Sonic's journal. Sonic knew this because he had written in it so many times it was crazy! Mrs. Lesson opened to a totally random page and it was the worst page she could pick. She began to read. "Dear Journal, I called the doctor today about a problem. I have a problem with my balls. They are itchy and it is difficult to sit still with them because they are so itchy. I have to back up against stucco surfaces and rub up and down on them to relieve the itchiness. No creams have worked. Creams only make my ball sweat smell like the breath of a thoroughbred and I think Amy (my GirlFriend) noticed. I hope my doctor calls. Love, Sonic."

"Oh no stop reading!" said Sonic, but he reacted too late because it was already read, all of it. Everyone in the class laughed and Sonic felt like an idiot asshole because now everyone knows all about his ball problems. Sonic felt his rage build up inside him like a pool of lava in a volcano. "Stop laughing at me! Don't tell anyone!" shouted Sonic but everyone was laughing so loud that they did not hear him and Sonic was just so embarrassed and mad and sad but more embarrassed so he ran out of the class fast. Sonic ran to his locker and opened it and screamed into it. He screamed "This sucks!" and Curse Words too.

"What is the problem," said Tails. "Are you mad?" said Tails. Sonic was mad so he nodded. "You should tell everyone that it is okay to have problems with your balls and that they probably have problems that they do not want everyone to know about too so stop laughing at me." Sonic thought Tails was right because Tails was smart. Knuckles was there too, so he said "Sonic what's is this I heard about you're having problems with your penis and balls?" Sonic was so mad again so he punched Knuckles and ran away quick.

Where Sonic ran to was his next class (it is now second period so it was okay), and that class was History class. Sonic did not care about History class. "Hey Amy!" said Sonic, "Check me out!" and Sonic did a dance move.

"Wow, cool, let's kiss," said Amy and Sonic and Amy kissed right there in the class and some of the other people in the class watched but the teacher wasn't there yet so they didn't get in trouble and who is gonna tell Sonic he can't kiss his girl friend in class. Amy kissed Sonic so hard that he was thinking "Let's have sex" but he didn't say it because the teacher would show up by the time they started to have sex in History class. Sonic kissed back really hard and it was sexy to everyone.

The teacher arrived and they did class but Sonic just looked at Amy the whole time who was sitting next to Rouge. Amy and Rouge talked and they looked at Sonic some times and laughed and Sonic thought Amy was telling her about how awesome Sonic kissed her but it was not. Rouge was telling Amy about Sonic's gay ball problems and Amy was Sonic's GirlFriend but she thought it was just the funniest thing ever. Class ended and Sonic went to Amy quick and did not stop on the way. "Hey Amy why do you go telling Rouge about how hard we kiss :)" said Sonic with a smile on his face that meant that he did not care that Amy did this and really wanted her too because it made him look cooler.

"Actually Rouge was telling me about the problems with your balls and penis and butthole that every one found out about in your English class." Wow was Sonic surprised, he did not know what to say.


As my hands clenched tighter around the assistance handles in the disabled toilets I found myself in I could feel and hear the walls cracking. The strenuous unclenching and forceful pushing made no distraction to the burning of a thousand supernova I felt around the delicate ring to my dark chasm.

As the bricks of the toilet block began to shatter around myself like glass ware falling from the table I managed to send myself deaf with the amount of herculean yelling I was bellowing from my lungs. Slowly I could feel the rosebud in between my rosy cheeks begin to part like that of the red sea in the story of Moses.

Solid and slow I could feel the end result of a week of accumulation of black mass scraping its way down my long tube of meat innards. Its relative size being that of a baseball forced my red ring to stretch to a size thought impossible to my naive virgin faecal cave.

Suddenly and without warning I felt a rush of liquid greater than that of Niagara falls rush faster than the Mississippi down the waste pipes of my insides towards the concrete nugget. A sound even louder than my strongman yawp began to rumble around my soft mid section.

The pressurization within me could last no longer. My brown eye having been fully stretched to ludicrous limits finally gave way with a tear. The black mass propelled by an apocalyptically large amount of brown liquid that followed crashed into the porcelain throne I was perched upon.

Having been made in the most remote factories of mainland China this Ming Flushy boi could not withstand the force of a weeks worth compacted gut rot. Having anticipated this worst case scenario I managed to move myself into a squat and hang on for dear life as the white seat of relief shattered around me.

Having expelled enough liquid to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool along with a sphere of bowel product large enough to choke a Clydesdale I resorted to attempting the impossible of cleaning a shit that can't wipe. I grabbed what sheets I could from this back end of town Lavatory building could offer.

Still hovering of the razor sharp shards below I began to wipe the deflated mud patch that resided between my now whip lashed posterior. To my surprise I found not a horrific sight of both expulsion and my own flesh but a completely dry chocolate star fish.